I have been utterly depressed the past month. All winter I dreamed of spring and the beginning of show season. I dreamt of competing in numerous local shows, and making our mark on a couple of rated shows. I was GEEKED!
After taxes, health insurance, monthly repairs to vehicles, monthly repairs to my dilapidated house, lessons every week, vet care, etc, etc.... I really don't have the money for showing. :(
You know what keeps popping in my head... How the heck did my parents afford my show habits when I was a kid?!? That $&@% is Expensive! And for what? A ribbon? A little, cheap, plastic/rayon piece of cloth? I'm serious... We have NO money and I'm pissed I can't show at Waterloo. Why? I don't know... I wanted to show everyone how great Ava is. To show them how much heart and talent she has. I wanted to strike fear in the hearts of my competitors whenever they saw my name on the class list. I didn't want to be the anonymous spectator that fetches bridles and drinks for real riders. I wanted to prove we belong here too.
Maybe someday...
Big, deep sigh on your behalf. I am sorry. It's tough to want something good and wonderful and have it remain just out of your grasp. I'm sending thoughts loaded with dollar bills your way. Hopefully some of them will become real bills that you can cash in. :0)
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