Avandarre in Dressage

I have been utterly depressed the past month. All winter I dreamed of spring and the beginning of show season. I dreamt of competing in numerous local shows, and making our mark on a couple of rated shows. I was GEEKED! After taxes, health insurance, monthly repairs to vehicles, monthly repairs to my dilapidated house, lessons every week, vet care, etc, etc.... I really don't have the money for showing. :( You know what keeps popping in my head... How the heck did my parents afford my show habits when I was a kid?!? That $&@% is Expensive! And for what? A ribbon? A little, cheap, plastic/rayon piece of cloth? I'm serious... We have NO money and I'm pissed I can't show at Waterloo. Why? I don't know... I wanted to show everyone how great Ava is. To show them how much heart and talent she has. I wanted to strike fear in the hearts of my competitors whenever they saw my name on the class list. I didn't want to be the anonymous spectator that fetches bridles an...

It's the middle of May and I haven't even entered a show, let alone participate in one, this year. I've been riding for almost 2 years now and I've only gone to one show! This must be rectified, and soon! :) The problem is money (isn't it always). My meager savings are going to go to a vet in order to get Ava's hocks and stifles checked for arthritis (and start preventative maintenance, or do whatever I need to do to ensure she has a long and happy life). I need a trailer and truck that are reliable and safe. I need my 20 year old saddle reflocked. I need new riding pants (the holes are growing and I'm beginning to fear a split in the seat soon). Ava needs her teeth done, chiropractor appointment, etc, etc. It never ends. And to top it off... The insurance company decided to stop paying for any service because the form asking if we use any other insurance wasn't in their money stealing dirty paws. So now we owe $800 for a stupid yearly physical. Apparent...